


Hell's Bookclub

by deathkisseddean (mad_fangirl)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bookclub, Hell, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2524448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mad_fangirl/pseuds/deathkisseddean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the tumblr post:"Can you make friends in Hell, or is it more like silent reading with more fire", Lucifer runs a somewhat unusual bookclub in Hell</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hell's Bookclub

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, so sorry if it is total crap. But I thought of it and wanted to write it.

Lucifer walked into the room, well, maybe room wasn't quite the right word. More like a round cave, but with flames rising along the outside wall. A circle of folding chairs was set up around the room, each one filled by rather disgruntled and tired looking guest, whose legs happened to be chained to the chair. Each person's wrists were also manacled, and attached to the ground by long chains. Most of the guests had varying states of injury. The woman in the polka dot dress had bruises all along her right arm, while the man next to her had several burns along his neck and face. Most of the other guests had various cuts on their body, but a few, like the teenage girl in converse and the elderly man in pajamas, had managed to avoid any injury.

Lucifer flung himself haphazardly into the remaining chair, his button up wrinkling around his already messy t-shirt. When he noticed the combined glares of the other people in the room, Lucifer sighed, straightened, and crossed his legs with his hands on his lap. A small "hmpf" of approval was heard, and Lucifer turned to face the offending person.

"Always nice to see you Marjory," Lucifer addressed the elderly lady seated across from him, "and may I say, the red color of your blood really brings out your eyes."

Marjory tutted disapprovingly and turned her nose up in the other direction. 

Miserable old bat, Lucifer thought, souls are good, but if she wasn't so desperate for her husband to die already, I wouldn't have to deal with her.

"Marve!" Lucifer exclaimed, turning to look at the uninjured man in pajamas. "Now tell me, how has two-hundred years treated you? Good? Enjoying the heat? I've heard it does wonders for the skin of people your age!"

Marve just grunted and looked away. Lucifer sighed in exasperation. 

"Well, since you are all so talkative, we might as well get started." Lucifer snapped his fingers and a book appeared on his lap.

"If you would all turn to page forty-nine," Lucifer stated to much grumbling from the rest of the room's occupants. "If you're all going to be that way," he continued in a light, joking voice, though the threatening undertone was perfectly clear, "I am sure that I can find a much more fitting way fro you to spend your damned eternity."

As always, the grumbling died out, and the only sound left in the room was the flutter of pages being turned. Lucifer decided he could continue.

"Now, assuming you are all on page forty-nine, you will see Romeo being a great big bag of dicks!" Lucifer drawled sarcastically. Varying degrees of groaning and exasperated sighing could be heard throughout the room, as the occupants braced themselves for what was about to happen, the same thing that happened every year.

"You know," Lucifer continued, "this novel is terrible, I'm talking total crap! Why did you read this for two-hundred years? IT SUCKS PEOPLE!" The rest of the room started fidgeting, waiting for Lucifer to finish, so they could continue on with the rest of their miserable existence.

"But maybe that's the point," Lucifer wondered, "I mean, it IS Hell. Can't be all butterflies and sunshine!" With that, Lucifer rocked back and placed both feet firmly on the ground.

"Okay everyone, I think that about covers it!" Lucifer said enthusiastically. "Good meeting!" Lucifer snapped his fingers and everyone's novel evaporated. he snapped his fingers again, and a new book appeared at each person's feet.

"Please pick up your copy of Fifty Shade of Grey to be discussed in another, hmmm, let's say... two hundred years?" Lucifer stated in his best hostess voice.

And with that, Lucifer bounced up, and half frolicked out of the entrance, flames immediately rising behind him to block any chance of escape.

"And remember," Lucifer turned back and daunted with a smile before disappearing,

"If you're not reading, you're bleeding!"


End file.
